If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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