you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She said her name was "party"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
