omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
