You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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