Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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