Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She's the barista slut.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Randomize
