Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
