O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
