It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
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Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
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The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize