Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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