There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she smelled like a LAN party
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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