my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
