I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize