so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize