That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
