..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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