i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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