Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
