Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
