I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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