I can tuck mytits in my pants
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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