Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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