it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car