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i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
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