Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life