Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeeah thank god

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant... (1-816): Yeeah thank god (816): Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million. http://tfl.nu/pevw
  Replies (55) Good night (2197) Bad night (15648)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  so you admit it was good then??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600. (1-337): so you admit it was good then?? http://tfl.nu/xl9i
  Replies (27) Good night (8766) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool. http://tfl.nu/4pl2
  Replies (44) Good night (5293) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out... (412): She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7. http://tfl.nu/j9aq
  Replies (11) Good night (4300) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money. http://tfl.nu/efs0
  Replies (5) Good night (2363) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/hkf6
  Replies (6) Good night (1576) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS. http://tfl.nu/fecm
  Replies (6) Good night (2045) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit http://tfl.nu/ocpj
  Replies (18) Good night (4125) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (+65): View more from

  Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+65): Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences. http://tfl.nu/3qzr
  Replies (1) Good night (1342) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck http://tfl.nu/1t6b
  Replies (16) Good night (872) Bad night (1324)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle http://tfl.nu/o3ji
  Replies (4) Good night (1791) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it. http://tfl.nu/17vl
  Replies (5) Good night (1716) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY. http://tfl.nu/h5mr
  Replies (1) Good night (822) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk. http://tfl.nu/qq27
  Replies (1) Good night (412) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist http://tfl.nu/fe8s
  Replies (7) Good night (681) Bad night (388)

Randomize