Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend http://tfl.nu/ot3u
  Replies (3) Good night (909) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk http://tfl.nu/iikf
  Replies (10) Good night (4881) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on http://tfl.nu/e38v
  Replies (19) Good night (4819) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  I love foreign exchange students.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish. (1-417): I love foreign exchange students. http://tfl.nu/3hb4
  Replies (6) Good night (3878) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot http://tfl.nu/icr3
  Replies (4) Good night (2357) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi http://tfl.nu/26u7
  Replies (3) Good night (2158) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan? http://tfl.nu/xwc6
  Replies (6) Good night (1138) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox. http://tfl.nu/almc
  Replies (18) Good night (2090) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again http://tfl.nu/lwkt
  Replies (7) Good night (1650) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life. http://tfl.nu/z2vn
  Replies (6) Good night (1973) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing http://tfl.nu/dsmd
  Replies (1) Good night (823) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong.... http://tfl.nu/btjr
  Replies (2) Good night (589) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show. http://tfl.nu/ey20
  Replies (0) Good night (662) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature. http://tfl.nu/4fv9
  Replies (2) Good night (595) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together http://tfl.nu/jhga
  Replies (2) Good night (567) Bad night (182)

Randomize