I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.