I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
