Pants 0. Shit 1.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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