So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
