I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
