Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
