On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
