so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
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You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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