this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Two words: blizzard sex
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