my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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