do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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