I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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