If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
