Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
