what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
