Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
