that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
