I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
