people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
