I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just high enough for therapy.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
