Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
bring money and cleavage
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
