I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
