i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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