Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
