ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
