is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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