hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
