and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
