Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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