How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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