Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
