Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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