lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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