so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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