I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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