I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
