marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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