Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
