The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
