He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
