I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
