I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
